The Unrequited Love!

पतझड़ का मौसम आ चूका था। सावन का इंतज़ार सब ही कर रहे थे। मैं भी गरजते बरसते सावन के आने कि दुआ कर रही थी। यही तो था वो मौसम, जिसमें मैं उसके सब से ज़्यादा क़रीब होती हूँ। उसका न होना भी उसी कि याद दिलाता है।
वैसे तो मैं अपने आप को एक ऐसे समुन्दर में डूबता हुआ महसूस करती हूँ, जो शांत है। सिर्फ मुझे अपने अंदर समेटे जा रहा है। मेरा दिल डूबता जा रहा है। दिमाग़ लड़ता है, फड़फड़ाता है, किसी तरह उस शांत लहर से बाहर आने का रास्ता ढूंढता है। पर फिर थक हार के बैठ जाता है। और फिर आँखें रो देती हैं। अपनी बेबसी पे। अपनी लाचारी पे। अपनी टूटी छूटी और रूठी मोहब्बत पे।
फिर सोचती हूँ, सावन की बूंदे जब मेरी आँखों से गिरती हैं, तो शायद उसके दिल को भी लगती होंगी। शायद उसे भी मेरी याद आती होगी, शायद वो भी मेरे लिए तड़पता होगा। यही सोच, हर सावन, बादल का साथ देती हूँ।
मोहब्बत है, उससे, कैसे बताऊँ उसे? शायद मेरे आंसू उसे मेरे इश्क़ का एहसास दिल दें।

Heart wreck vs Brain wreck!

"Juz do it Nas..juz do it".."its not a big deal..its a risk you have to take..it will give you answers to all your questions..it will help your heart heal..it will remove that big question mark in your head..and untill you answer that question..you are going to suffer..you will never find true happiness.."

My heart had all the answers..my heart knew what I had to do..it knew..that the only way to end this..is to start it..
But my brains sung another song..

"No Nas you cant do it..what will everyone think about you..what will he think about you..and more importantly..will you be able to forgive urself..will you survive this wreck..what if he doesnt reciprocate..what if he laughs at you..what if....."

This confusion..this level of persplexion..how will I survive this?? What the F*** am I supposed to do..what the hell am I doing..do i need another complication..or will this make it easier..what will happen, if this raises more questions..what will happen..if you get stuck...deeper..this way..at least there is a hope for survival..

You may survive the heart wreck..but will you be able to survive the wreckage of your brain..will you be able to pick up those pieces????

The Death News!

Cancer...it is to date one of the most dangerous, heartbreaking and scary diseases.
You dont find out..that you have a disease..you directly find out that you have a limited time left. You find out that..you are about to leave..everything and everyone you love..
A sinking feeling, of emptiness empowers you. You feel like you are going down and down in to the cold dark ocean..nothing and no one can help you.
You feel a really paining and uncmfrtable silence.
And then, when you get out of your own pain..you see your loved ones.
You see them hurting..trying to give you hope..trying to find something to hold on to..and thats what hurts the most..
To see them hurting!
I hope no one gets to feel this. I hope we can eradicate cancer..once amd for all!

InshaAllah

The Unanswered Question!

Her life had been one heck of a ride. She knew that she was made for this. The tough ride..yeah..dat's what she was made for. She had to struggle, to get things her way..she always had to take the long route to the destination..
and she loved it..
she loved it when it came to her career..
she loved it when it was about her family..
she loved it when it was about her whole life..

But there was one thing..that bothered her..
it was that one unanswered question.
The one question which has been lingering around forever.
The one question, whose answer she could not find.
The one answer that she wanted, desperately.
The one answer that could give her the closure she needed.
The one answer, that could set her free..
The one question, " Was she right or not??"

It has to be answered.
Now!