The Earthen Pot!

Relationships are like an earthen pot. You keep on filling them with trust, love, friendship, care and moments..and fights..of course :)Every fight creates a hole in the pot, that we try to fill with special gestures and apologies. It fills and we move on..We get past the "pot holes" and continue making memories..until the next "pot hole".And then one day, we have a fight, which is rather insignificatnt, but creates a hole that just cant be filled..the water keeps flowing out of that pot hole..untill everything you took so many years to built, just vanishes..That is the hole, that only time can fill..no speacial gestures..no amount of apologies can fill it..:)
#feelingPhilosophical

Missed Him!

I looked around..smiling faces..shining eyes..beautiful chatters and laughters..world was full of happiness..people held hands of their soulmates..some.were dancing..their eyes lockd into each oders. Smiling..talkng wid dere eyes..their hearts were full of love, passion.for each other..at the far end corner of the hall..i saw a child holding his mothers hand..smiling..njoying an.icecream cone..suddenly i felt a warm breath over my neck..i turned..and saw him..he smiled warmly..his smile brightened up my day..den he held my hands and askd me to dance wid him.."my pleasure"..i said with the confidence of a newly wed bride..i knew he cant liv widt me..i knew..he loves me more dan anythng in d world..we started dancing..he leaded me in a way..no one could..i gave in..to him..he is d only one wid dat kind of power over me..suddenly..light went off..and a loud sound was heard..like a bomb going off..chaos all around..people.were running..we startd running too..he held.my hands..tightly..and den a flock of people came between us..n we got seperatd..i lukd back..searchd for him..i cudnt find him..

At that point..i realised i was on my bed..and i realised d emptiness around me..tears drippng from my eyes..my heart realised dat it had nothing to beat for..he was gone..forevr..
i missd him.. frown emoticon

I have all you have..and so much more!

When I was born, my mom took me into her arms, and lukd at me lovingly, protecting me from this cruel corrupted world........juz lyk urs did!

When I held my dads finger and took my first step, he had an ecstatic feeling.......juxyk urs did!
When I went to school, for the first time, my mom made me an excellent lunch..and told me that everythings gonna be alryte, wen i cried........juz lyk urs did!
When she sent me off to college..my mom was crying rivers inside..and my dad sent me off with a heavy heart........juz lyk urs did!
Now I am a professional..working in a reputed company..grabbing a handsome salary...........juz lyk u do!When I went to school, for the first time, my mom made me an excellent lunch..and told me that everythings gonna be alryte, wen i cried........juz lyk urs did!When she sent me off to college..my mom was crying rivers inside..and my dad sent me off with a heavy heart........juz lyk urs did!Now I am a professional..working in a reputed company..grabbing a handsome salary...........juz lyk u do!
Why am I only supposed to stay inside the doors and do the household chores while you are out there..fulfilling your dreams???
Why cant I work late nyte shifts???
Why are the streets not safe for me???
Why am I the only one supposed to take care of kids, when you are equally responsible for bringing them to this world??
Why is it ok for you to hav female friends, but when I have male friends , it becomes a crime???

I have all you have..and so much more!

Then why the hell should I pay you to marry me???

Why???????

I just know.

I know.
I know that we were what we were.
I know that what happened, was perhaps supposed to happen.
I know that what you did, u did witout thinking.
I know that what I did, I did out of spite.
I know that I always loved you.
I know that i will always love you.
I know that things are not working out as they were supposed to.
I know that life is going haywire.
But I know, that at the end, we all get what we need.. perhaps not what we want..but definitely what we need.
I know.
I just know.

Roses & Thorns!

Untill now, she was protected. But as the spring season approached, she was exposed to the world. The world of cruelty and destruction. She looked around..she could see nothing that looked like her..she looked up..she could see the beautiful sky..stretched across the horizon..it was like a shield of blueness..so big..so bright..she felt good..she saw the green of the world..the grass..the shrubs..the trees..the herbs..she felt scared..she knew that she was a lot more beautiful than all dis..and so she was more succeptible to this cruel world..
What she didnt knew, was that..there was a shield around her..her own thorns..her own roots..her own origin..she was " The ROSE"

Often we forget, that we are the protectors of ourselves..if somebody hurts us..its our fault..y make urself vulnerable..so ladies and gentlemen..life is not fair..dnt depend on others to save u..be ur own protectors..be ur own saviours!

Giving In!

All our lives, we have been motivated to be on top.
To get the highest marks in class.
To look most beautiful at your farewell party.
To become engineers or doctors.
To graduate from the best institute.
To excel in college.
To get the most paying job.

But at this stage, when I am myself looking for job and trying to make a name for myself..it makes me revisit these advices.
Do i want to be the most paid candidate among my friends?
Or more importantly, do I need that??
Is it important to land a job that I love, but will pay me less. May be make me happy and satisfied. But perhaps it will stop me from growing.
OR
should I grab something that will pay me bug bucks but will perhaps make me miserable? But then perhaps it will help me challenge my shortcomings and help me grow.

Perplexed.. I turn to my diary..and pour my heart out.

And still I have no clarity, and so I decide to give in to the quandaries.

Will take it as it comes!

#MyChoice

What the hell is wrong with the world? yes! it is your choice to marry the person you like....yes it is your choice to have sex before or after marriage...yes it s your choice to wear miniskirt or abaya...agreed!
but what the hell is that its my choice to stay out late..to not pick calls...to not answer you..to have extra marital sex...if its your choice to have casual sex...den dont marry..why the hell are you destroying the sanctity of marriage...
relationships...culture...morals...values...do dey not matter anymore??
there are some rules for everything....there has to be..if not..world is going to be in chaos...there is a reason "law" exists...

Stop F***** with sane people's minds...
respect culture...decency...sanctity of relationships...all this needs to be reminded to the world!

‪#‎mychoice‬
‪#‎myviews‬

If only..

Had I known, that the last time I see you, would be the last, I would have looked at you, all day long.
Had I known that the last time I held your hand, would be the last time, I would have never let you go.
Had I known that, the last time I hugged you, would be the last time, I would have embraced the moment deeply.
If only I had known, that you would be taken away from me, I would have kept you with me..I would have hidden you in my heart.
If only I had known.....
If only..

A one Way road!

Just the other day, i had this dream.

I was in this gorgeous jeep. And i was driving down a long road. It was empty. No cars. No life. Nothing. And on both sides of the road was desert. Juz empty sand. Not even a sign of life. No houses. No buildings. No person. No animals. It was juz me, driving. Alone. I kept driving and driving. The road was uneven, a lot of hurdles. And for some reason, they kept popping up, when i reached near it.
I still kept driving, as if i was looking for something. For some unknown object, i kept driving, kept chasing..something i wasnt even aware of. I knew one thing, that watevr i was lukng for, was just around the corner. I just had to find the right corner. I felt positive, determined and excited to find that something.I still kept driving, as if i was looking for something. For some unknown object, i kept driving, kept chasing..something i wasnt even aware of. I knew one thing, that watevr i was lukng for, was just around the corner. I just had to find the right corner. I felt positive, determined and excited to find that something.
A ONE WAY ROAD!

And then something made me look back. I turned my head, and i saw people, houses, trees and birds. There was life. People were happy. "All this wasnt dere earlier"- i thought. I felt lost, sad and disheartened.

I decided not to chase that unknown object anymore. I tried turning my jeep around, but i couldnt. IT WAS A ONE WAY ROAD. And no matter how much i tried, I cudnt turn it around. I felt, deprived. Deprived of happiness, deprived of luck, deprived of life. Tears came rolling down my face.

Den i realised I was in my bed. I thanked Allah for everything and decided not to go after unknown happiness and find happiness in what i have ryte here..ryte now.

Isnt dat what life is??

A one Way road!

Poem 2

Mai hu mausam, badalna hai fitral meri..
Mana ki abr ki chaon mein hai qismat meri..
Sooraj hu mai, aaj nahin to kal..
Arsh-o-farsh pe chamkegi roshni meri..
Mere afsaane ka anjaam abh baqi hai ahmad..
Abhi to aaghaz pe hai kahani meri.

‪#‎selfPoetry‬
‪#‎feelingPoeticAfterALongTime‬

Gloomy!

When the times are tough..and the mind is gloomy..
When the sun is bright, but the heart is dull..
When the pizza is available..and stomach is full..
When the night is dark..and so are your days..
Thats when you know, who your friends are..

‪#‎Gloomy‬

Dear Future Me!

Hey!
Dear Future Me!
Remember an year back..when you were so confused..
Remember when you started avoiding the poisons in your life..
Remember how hard it was to let go of your memories..that were ruining your days and nights..
Remember how painfully satisfying it was to cry yourself to sleep at night..
Remember the difficult time...
Well it was nt for nothing..
Isnt your life awesome now..
I know that most probably you are still struggling..for fantasies to come true..
But its ok..coz in another one year..the pain will lessen more..
And you might start getting happy..
So juz chill..and keep it up!

‪#‎AnotherLateNightRevelation‬

kaash!

ज़िन्दगी की भाग दौड़ में..अक्सर हम खुद को कहीं पीछे छोड़ आते हैं।
अपनी ख्वाहिशो क पीछे भागते भागते हम अपने आप को ग़ायब कर लेते हैं। ना...दुनिया की नजरो से नहीं..खुद की नरज़ो से ओझल हो जाते हैं हम..
हम ये भूल जाते हैं..की ऊपर कोई है..सर्वशक्तिमान..जो हमारी कहानी लिख रहा है..फिर क्यों हम अंधाधुंध भागते जाते हैं..
क्यों किसी और को सजा देने क बहाने..हम खुद को ही सजा सुना देते हैं..ग़लतियो पे ग़लतिया करते जाते हैं..और फिर उन ग़लतियो को सुधरने न पाने की वजह से..अपने आप सेनफरत करने लगते हैं।
सफ़र कोई भी हो..ख़त्म होता है। मंज़िल मिलती ही है..चाहे जितना समय लग जाये। फिर हम क्यों बेसब्रो की तरह, उल्टा दौड़ते हैं।
काश क हम में इतना सब्र होता।काश क हम ऊपर वाले के निर्णय का इंतज़ार करते।
तब हमारी कहानी..बचपन वाली राजकुमारी जैसे होती।
काश।

"I Dont Love him"

"I Dont Love him"
"I Dont Love Him"
I told myself TRILLIONS of times..
On BILLION different occasions..
MILLIONS of times..
But no one believes me..niether does my heart..nor my brains..

कहते हैं किसी बात को हज़ार बार याद करो, तो उसपे विशवास होने लगता है।

अब जब खुद को विशवास नहीं दिला पा रही तो दूसरो को कैसे दिलाऊं?
ज़िन्दगी भी अजीब खेल खेल गयी।

Tell me o khuda..ab mai kya karu....

Special Someone!

In one of my past relationships, I found excitement and convenience..Things were easy, accessible and more importantly affable..

Then there was comfort and incredible connection..the kind of mental connection which you expect out of a soul mate...

It wasnt until him that i found content..and when I did, there was no excitement, neither the connection, nor the convenience..but the CONTENT was worth it..I felt secure, loved, cared, special. I felt like I was making a difference, in someones life..that I meant something, to someone...I felt happy!

And trust me girls, its worth it!

Today you might think, that u cant live without that one guy, who you feel mental connection with, but let me assure you, you can and you will...

Because you can’t just fall in love, you can rise.... with that special person....

I know I did!

And I never wanna Love again!!

#sPeciAlSomeOne

"Kuch to hai tujhse raabta"

"Kuch to hai tujhse raabta"

Kehte hain khuda ne is jahan mein sabhi k liye..kisi na kisi ko hai banaya har kisi k liye...
Are you the one for me??
Yes! I have loved you, for as long as I remember..
Yes! every moment with you is like icing on the sundae of life and sunday of the week..
Yes! every moment that i spend without you, is lifeless..
Yes! I may be smiling on the outside, but deep in my heart I am crying rivers..coz I want you, right beside me..
And Yes! the second half of the line above..feels like its for me..

"Tera milna hai us rab ka ishara maano, mujhko banaya tere jaise ki kisi kliye..
:)

In Love....Again!

It was a hot sunny day..monotonous boring everyday...
you came in like a fresh breeze of spring..
And I could feel my heart melting away..
And juz like that...........

I was in Love all over again!!

Is This Love?

"I will come back, I promise. I just need sometime."-he said to me...yesterday...no last month...no..last year...I am not sure...
All i know is, he will come back, and I am waiting for him..And I will wait for him...I can see seasons passing by...from my window....

Sometimes its chilly, and I can see smoky fog accumulating on my window sill...
sometimes it rains, and I can see Rain droplets cleaning my window..Ah...the rain..."Its you nas, it has always been you." his loving words echoed my ears and juz like that rain outside, few droplets came out of my eyes and joined the rain on my window sill..
sometimes its bright outside, so bright that I can hardly open my eyes..it makes me wonder if HE is back...n Happiness has clouded my eye sight...

He is all I have, and he promised..so I have to wait, until eternity.....

Am I crazy?or is this Love??

26th April!

“Julia, please cancel all my meetings for today.”I said into the phone speaker in my office.
“OK sir.”came the reply.
I am not well today. But being a senior member of my office I had to come to work. So here I was coughing and sneezing, in my office.i thought of ordering a coffee. But since I am new to the office I don’t remember all the extensions. So I open my desk to take out the list my boss had given me. And then suddenly, I saw a cell phone, a nokia 2600 model.. I took it out.
“Today is 26th april. “I said it aloud, to my amazement.
Its raining outside the glass walls of my office.
I LOVE RAIN.
I heard someone say this. I look back at nothing but the closed glass door of my chamber. And suddenly it all started coming back to me.

Love still wasn't dead!!

Reasons For Love!

Why does love happen?? Always for a reason..Sometimes, its the closeness that you enjoy..sometimes its the other person's company...sometimes..its all about how they make you feel..Sometimes..you just are attracted..sometimes..their looks...

But there is always one time..when its without a reason..they may not be that c;lose to you..you might not really enjoy their their company..they might make you feel bad..at times too...and they might not look like Salman Khan..

but you love them...just for who they are..no strings attached..no expectations..no returns...no gain..no loss...just a feeling..

a feeling that stays..no matter how much you try to push it to the back of your mind..it stays...in the subconscious...

You might not even remember why you love them..you just do..all you know is your heart flutters when you see them..and your lips turn into a big smile...when you think about them...and talking about them..makes you feel on the top of the world..

you tell their story to the world..keeping them anonymous...coz you are afraid of letting that feeling go...

Have you felt it??I have..its amazing..
if you havent..open your heart to this possibility...

"Its better to have loved and lost..than to never have loved at all"

Confessions of an angry heart!

You know what, as long as I remember,...I have cherished you..

I have protected you..
I have loved you..
I have prayed for you..for happiness..
You were a part of my prayers..
even when I asked Allah for my happiness, it went through you..

Even when you betrayed me first time, I convinced my heart, it wasn't you who did this..It was an innocent heart who just wandered into wilderness,,
I FORGAVE YOU.

When you did the same second time, I thought, its okay..its your innocent heart, you will know better soon..
I FORGAVE YOU.

Then it happened again...and again..and again...and everytime it happened it created a hole in my heart...with every passing betrayal, a part of me wanted you to suffer..i wanted you to feel what you made me feel...
LOST
LORN
ANGRY
HELPLESS
BETRAYED
But that has all changed now...
I dont care what you feel..I dont care if you suffer..I dont care if u feel helpless and lost..

I have stopped praying for you..my happiness doesnt involve you anymore..

That is my ULTIMATE revenge on you!!